The infamous GT ‘Deirdre Rachid’ programme notes.

My thunder has been stolen.

Over three years, I have tried my very hardest to come up with bizarre and unexpected approaches to writing about twenty-two men and a lump of inflated cow. It hasn’t been easy but I’m deeply proud of some of my more adventurous detours from the point in hand (Exhibit A: “The Accordian Player”).

I have, however, been kidding myself. It has recently become clear that, when it comes to stretching metaphors to absurd lengths and littering otherwise lucid comment with utterly irrelevant drivel, I am just a humble apprentice. Graham Taylor is the master. (Exhibit B: “Deirdre Rachid”.) Lord help us if he ever decides to write his autobiography….

But such piss-taking shouldn’t hide the truth – Graham Taylor, increasingly wayward programme notes and all, has guided Watford Football Club to success yet again. We have so much to thank him for.

This long, long season is set for a joyful finale. To be honest, as someone who didn’t even predict us to make the playoffs, I could be more bothered about the Championship. Barring absolute catastrophe, we’ve achieved our aims. As “Clap Your Hands” have eloquently put it, “The title would be the cherry on the cake…but we want the cake first.”

English Division Two	Table »
Brentford	0-2	Fulham
Burnley	1-0	Bristol City
Carlisle United	3-1	Oldham Athletic
Chesterfield	2-1	Northampton Town
Gillingham	2-1	Luton Town
Plymouth Argyle	3-1	Blackpool
Preston North End	1-0	Southend United
Walsall	2-0	Millwall
Watford	1-0	Wrexham
York City	0-1	Bournemouth