THE EDITOR of Portsmouth’s club programme, Chimes, was indulging in some mischievous wish-fulfilment with the premature publication of the First Division table in his opening-day issue. In the absence of any points won or goals scored, Pompey appeared in 15th place while, by dint of name alone, Watford were in the relegation zone, above West Brom and Wolves.

Somewhere in my head, there’s a long list of things that I want to do before I pass away. Predictably, most of them are completely unattainable – I’ll never write a novel, I’ll never paint a whole train carriage, I’ll never beat five defenders and drill a shot past the keeper. I can dream, though.

Taken from the programme on 18th August 1998-League Cup First Round Second Leg, Watford 1 Cambridge Utd 1 (Cambridge won 2-1 on aggregate)